I’m not really sure what I could have been dreaming about as I slept Sunday night, but when I woke up Monday morning, I had several boutique related things on my mind that I wanted to let the gals in my VIP group know about.  As I waited for my coffee to brew (thank you Jesus for likkity split Keurigs!) I had these things on my mind and started making a plan in my head.

Literally….boutique thinking before I even had my first sip of coffee!  That’s dedication, girl!

Anyway…as I made my way from the kitchen to my desk I had pretty much already decided that I would just go LIVE.  Easiest way to accomplish everything in one video rather than several posts throughout the day.  Right?

However………

Michigan weather has been so weird this winter.  We had one good snow back in early November and it’s been a crazy up + down ride ever since.  50* days.  20* days.  Super dry stretches and then flooding rains.  Not your typical Michigan winter and let me just tell ya – my sinuses have been SCREAMING!

I think anyone that lives in Michigan has been having sinus issues so I’m in good company.  But….they’ve been SO BAD.  Like….sinus pain + pressure + headache that comes on while I’m sleeping and is somewhat relieved by getting up outta bed.  Just about every damn night….. and I’m not one that really struggles with my sinuses.

I grabbed my coffee, walked from the kitchen to my office and sat down at my desk.

Picked up my devotional, read it and then spent a little bit reflecting.

As I turned on my computer and waited for it to boot up……

…..I don’t feel like washing my hair and doing it.

…..I don’t feel like putting make-up on.

…..I don’t feel like getting dressed in anything more than different sweats!

And I did just that.  Washed my face, put on a little mascara so I didn’t look completely dead (and I had to run out later so it was the least I could do), tossed my hair up, and put on a comfy pair of sweats and an oversized sweater.  Perfection.

Wait.

I absolutely canNOT go LIVE looking like THIS!

Not so much about not having any makeup on.  I go out + about often without it on.

And it wasn’t about being in my sweats, either.

It was about my damn hair!

Okay, wait.  Maybe not so much my actual hair but my hair being UP.   Because my hair being up meant that everyone could see I had a wild ear that sticks out like Dumbo.  Seriously…..I could take flight with this ear.  Not both ears.  Just ONE ear.

And I’m ridiculously self conscious about it!

Damn.  There went my plans for the day.

H O L D   O N   J U S T   A   H O T   M I N U T E !!!!!

Am I honestly gonna let something as stupid as my damn ear keep me from doing something?  Am I really gonna let myself be THAT self conscious?   THAT insecure???  So worried about someone seeing my ear that sticks out a damn country mile that I’m gonna let this stupid insecurity change my plans???

And then it dawned on me.

It’s true what they say.  WE ARE OUR OWN WORST CRITIC!  

And I guess you could say that I’m a total hypocrite because I’m always preaching to love yourself….every single little awkward, messy, imperfect thing.  (Perfection is highly overrated and no matter how much we try, ain’t none of us ever going to reach it.  Only Jesus gets to be perfect.)  But here I am – avoiding letting YOU see me LIVE because my hair is up and my ear is sayin’ HELLO to everyone!  (insert face palm emoji here)

You know it’s true……we critique ourselves waaaay harder than anyone else would.  (Unless you happen to be a mean girl and you’re in the habit of critiquing everyone and that just makes you a bitch. #meangirlssuck)

We literally pick ourselves apart.  We won’t post a photo unless we filter it first.  We won’t let anyone else post a photo unless we approve it first.  We don’t go to the beach or the pool because we don’t wanna put on a bathing suit.  We don’t go to a certain gathering because we aren’t “good enough” for those people.  We don’t get on the dance floor because maybe our moves more Carleton than Beyonce’.

And Robin won’t go LIVE because her damn ear sticks out.  (aaaaaand there’s that face palm emoji again!)

I really started thinking about this.

I guess I can’t be 100% sure but I was pretty certain that it wouldn’t be the thing people immediately noticed.  They probably wouldn’t even notice – or care if they DID notice – that I didn’t have any makeup on!

So…..I did an experiment to prove my point.  Inside my VIP group, I posted this picture….

…..with this text in post:

Alright alright alright!

Who’s willing to help yo girl out?

I’m doing some research for Her Confident Life and I need your help! ?

The picture you’re looking at (?‍♀) is real life.

It’s me. Messy bun Monday + getting shit done.

No make-up. No editing. No filters. No fussing around like we do for photo shoots + website pictures.

Just. Me.

Now……please play by the rules. And the rule is – HONESTY! (I’m putting myself out there for this research so I really need you to be honest……)

QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU SEE? WHAT DO YOU NOTICE??? The moment you look at this picture, what do you notice first?

(And laaaawd…..can I just tell ya? This is a little bit scary!) ?

There was a TON of comments.  And you know what?  The comments were very humbling to read.  Kind eyes.  Kind smile.  Approachable.  Friendly.  And NOT A SINGLE COMMENT about my ear!  Nor the fact that I didn’t have makeup on.  None. 

My whole point to all of this is that we really are our own worst critic.  And how many things do we miss out on – choosing not to do – because that one thing isn’t “just right”?

Think about that.  I’d love to know your thoughts!  Are you your own worst critic???  Oh….and btw?  You look AMAZING and UNIQUE and all kinds of beautiful even if your ear does stick out like Dumbo.  

#practicewhatipreach #over55sowhat #andmyearsticksout